BSC Foundation News

Alison's 3rd Anniversary Post

2011-09-10T18:59:48Z

Three years ago today, we lost our baby boy, my everything, my heart and soul, my strength, my Brendon, to brain cancer. The morning of September 10, 2008, I held him in my arms. As he took his last breath he was gently taken from me into the Lord's arms, and wisked off to the heavens above. While I know he is watching over us, it never makes the days, holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries any easier.

It is a reminder instead that someone so perfect, so vibrant, so loving, so gentle, and so wonderful, was taken from us way too early. It is a reminder of how much I hate this horrid disease, and a reminder that we must not give up fighting this monster. It is a reminder that I no longer can hug, laugh, cry, hold, kiss, or snuggle, with my baby boy. It is a constant reminder that I have to wait many more years to see him again. As I lay here numb in my bed...not wanting to get up, not wanting to face the day, watch the date be stamped across every receipt, pop up on my phone, or be displayed on a calendar...I think about how much September 10th means to me. Much like those who will be mourning their loss tomorrow on September 11th, I too am mourning my loss today. One day before September 11th...mine is September 10th (my whole family feels the same way, my Mom says it all the time). My whole life changed on September 10th, my world fell apart, and my heart was shredded to pieces that day. I will never forget September 10th, and I will never forget my baby boy. I will never forget his smile, his laugh, his cry, his touch, his smell, his love. I will never forget the blessing I had to be his mom, and I will never forget that he is still watching over us every day. I love you more than words can express Bren! I miss you more than I can spread my arms to show you, and as the book says, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as you're living". And while the book says "living", my version is here with me; physically, spiritually, mentally, "my baby you'll be". Sending hugs, love, tears, and laughter to heaven today, baby boy.

We love you,

Mommy (aka your girl , Daddy, Mia and Baby Asher.

Remembering Brendon

2010-09-11T00:19:00Z

I woke up today, and again your'e not here. Two years ago I watched you slip out of my arms and into the heavens above. I watched you take your last breath of air. Baby I didn't want to let you go, but I did not have a choice my sweet boy. My heart aches so deep I cannot explain.

When you left this earth you took a big part of me with you. My happiness with never be the same without you here...my love will never be as deep...you were my everything....you are my everything and to say I miss you is an understatement. My life has never been the same now that you are gone. I love you with all my heart, and I'm sending kisses to you today like every day. Brendon, you are the light of my life...no wonder it has been so dark down here since you left.

I love you baby boy...and hope to come home soon to you so I can see your beautiful face once again.

Love,
Mommy

Dallas Ft. Worth Brain Tumor Walk

2009-10-22T22:33:00Z

Dear Family and Friends,

We recently accepted the challenge of participating in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Brain Tumor Walk to benefit the National Brain Tumor Society. This will be our second year participating in this event!

We are asking you to help, by supporting our fundraising efforts with a donation to the Dallas-Ft. Worth Brain Tumor Walk. Your tax-deductible gift will make a difference in the lives of brain tumor patients. It is faster and easier than ever to support this great cause - you can make your donation online by simply clicking on the link at the bottom of this message.

Any amount, great or small, helps in the fight. We greatly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on our progress.

We are participating in honor and memory of Brendon, so we have chosen the name "Forever Five" to represent our team.

Thank you always for your support,

Tony and Alison (Coates) Clement

Click here to support the "Forever Five" team with your tax-deductible donation. Thank you!

Alison's Reflection

2009-09-10T20:42:00Z

Thursday, September 10 2009

Today marks the one year anniversary since our precious baby boy earned his angel wings and went to Heaven. I know that he is smiling down on us today and each and everyday. I laid on Brendons bed this morning and it brought me back to exactly a year ago in the morning where I held him in my arms lifeless. The funeral home gave me lots of time but then had to come in and carry him away. How gentle she was as I passed Brendon to her. She wrapped him in a white sheet like a blanket you swaddle a baby with. God was guiding her every move that morning and we followed her to the van and waved Goodbye to Brendon for the last time sobbing the entire time. I will never forgot any of the memories with my son and I am so honored that I was able to share him with so many people and that he had the same effect on you all as well.

Brendon...thank you for giving me the best 5 years of my life and thank you for teaching me the true meaning of it. You were my strength then and now. I miss you terribly and love you beyond words! Sending hugs, kisses, laughter and tears up to heaven today! "Gone from this place, but forever in our hearts".

We love you- Your best girl, daddy, Mia, Fur Fur and Coop Scootin Boogie

Reflecting back a year ago, this is what I blogged the day Brendon passed:

Wednesday, September 10, 2008 5:20 PM, CDT

It is with a heavy heart and a tired mind that I have to tell you that Brendon Scott Coates, earned his angel wings and passed from this world into heaven this morning at 0609.

He went peacefully...I was sleeping next to him and was woken at around 0500 by Tony who told me that his heart rate was very slow. I held my baby and just stared at his face, counted every single eyelash, rubbed every inch of his beautiful body and watched him as the breaths got smaller and smaller and the heartbeat faded and faded and his color simply fell from his body, and then eventually he just slipped away. He didn't take any last big breath, he wasn't gasping, he wasn't in any kind of pain whatsoever...it was as if while I was holding him, God wrapped his arms around both of us and just transfered Brendon from my arms into his. His heart just stopped beating silently. He looked as though he had a smile on his face, that cute innocent Brendon grin he so many times had even when times where rough. It was his way of saying, "it will be okay Mom, you're gonna be okay". I could almost hear his sweet little voice saying that to me as he left.

We had all been waiting and wondering what Brendon was holding onto, was there significance to his leaving this earth, was it a certain day or was there someone that hadn't gotten a chance to say goodbye. I don't know if it holds true, but he did have a phone call last night, from his grandma from afar, where she wanted to sing a song to him once more...just one more time. And isn't it a little strange I think that Brendon chose the 10th day of the month when he was born on the 10th day of December? Or was it because his great grandfather which he never met, birthday is today and he knew he could go up there arriving in heaven singing Happy Birthday to him? What I do know is that I was reminded this morning as Brendon passed away, of when he was born. He was due on Thanksgiving of 2002 but he was nowhere near ready to come. I went to Temple, TX to King's Daughter Hospital, not once, not twice, but three times to be induced...Brendon finally came on the third time on December 10th 2002. And as quietly as he left me this morning, he was just as quiet coming into this world...I asked the nurses "what's wrong why isn't he crying?", after about a minute he did cry and it was music to my heart. I didn't even know the complications I was having at the time and didn't understand why all the doctor's and nurses came rushing to me, all I could feel was love, the greatest love and happiness in this world!

It's ironic, last night I was reading for the first time, even though my aunt sent it to me months ago, "Angel Unaware", from Dale Evan Rogers, wife of Roy Rogers, and the story of their baby Robin who was born with Down Syndrome and died at the age of two. How ironic for me as I read the first page and related to the angel Robin (it is written from the babies eye's) and she said "Two years up here doesn't seem like much, but on earth it can be a long time-and it was long and often hard for all of us". I thought of what Brendon and our family and friends have been through for the last two years, the long hard journey that Brendon endured. She goes on to say "I knew why I was sick, and because I was sick I could do things for them. I never knew when you sent me on that earthly mission what it would be like, or how much we could do in two short years. We did a lot". I was taken for a minute...wow, in just two years, look at what Brendon did for all of us, look at the relationships, the friendships and the impact that he made on so many people. At the end of the book she says "They're a lot stronger since they got your message, there's a new glory inside of them and all around them and they've made up their minds to give it to everybody they meet." Again, how amazing that I could relate so much to this book...Brendon has made so many people, myself greatly included, grow stronger in their faith, see the grace of God through this and remind us all why we are here and what our purpose is. The last line of the book reads...."And now, Father, please...could I just go out and try my wings?" I can just hear Brendon asking God that...can't you?

There is still much to be done for Brendon on his behalf, and I promised to him that I will never stop fighting, I will never give up. It has left me with a great importance and purpose. It is what Brendon would have wanted and it is how Brendon was/is. He knew just by his strength, just by his smile or just by saying "hey" to a stranger that would be one more person that would learn of childhood brain cancer, learn of his love of life, learn of God and learn of our purpose...and he has tasked me to do the same. And I will.

~ Brendon's mother and biggest fan,

Alison Coates Clement

From Alison 9-10-09

2009-09-09T17:46:00Z

Imagine one day waking up and realizing that your child’s life and your life will change forever. I don’t know that I have still come to terms with that reality, but sadly enough that is the reality when your child has been diagnosed with cancer.

August 25th 2006 was that horrible day for me, it was the day that my baby boy, Brendon Scott Coates age 3, was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor named Ependymoma, which only account for 5-10 percent of pediatric brain tumors. Later we would find out that the ependymoma was metastatic throughout his spine which in 2008 reoccurred with furry. Survival rates with treatment for ependymoma patients are 50%, those who have metastatic ependymoma drop to 26%, and then if it reoccurs it drops to 10% or less. My baby boy fought this horrible disease each day with grace and a smile which still amazes me and makes me so proud to have had the chance to be the mother of such an amazing child. With great sadness, Brendon’s life was ended on the 10th September 2008 due to this disease and honestly a part of my life died that day as well. Brendon was, and still is, the best thing that ever happened to me and with him gone, it’s not the same. But life is not over for me and my family and that is why The Foundation was born.

This website was designed to help other families who are going through what my family went through. Both through financial, emotional and educational help. We, myself, Brendon’s mother (Alison Clement) and my husband, Brendon’s stepfather (Anthony Clement) decided to start the Brendon Scott Coates Foundation while sitting beside Brendon at the funeral home the day before the services. It just hit us that it was what we needed to do and what we wanted to do. Just because Brendon was not here physically anymore, he was here with us in spirit and still in everything we did. This fight for childhood cancer wasn’t done; it will never be done until a cure is found.

Brendon Scott Coates (my angel son) is the CEO and founder of the foundation, and myself and Tony are the President and Vice President respectively. My sister, Erin Whitehead is the web page designer/administrator of the website.

It is a collective fight desire and support, that we hope to make a difference in the lives of other cancer kiddos’ who are going through what my son went through. It is our goal that we can give a wonderful quality of life to those who are going through the same struggles with pediatric cancer. In the end, it is not the quantity of life that matters most but the quality of life which will make lifelong memories and make a wonderful life for a child diagnosed with pediatric cancer. The best advice as a mother of a child with cancer is to tell them you love them every chance you get, do all the things that they want and you want to do as a family. While some childhood cancer’s have great survival rates, there are still plenty which are still such a mystery to the medical community. When you look back at your experience going through cancer with your child, it is much better to not have any regrets, to know that along with doing everything you could to fight the disease, that you also did everything you could to be the very best parent and friend to your child during their treatment and times of remission. Life is short and for children with cancer it can be very short. Just remember to love, laugh and live it to the fullest, it is what will matter the most in the end.

Alison Coates Clement , mother of Brendon Scott Coates (Dec 10, 2002-Sep 10, 2008)